Healing Through Parenthood

Ever since I became a parent, I’ve lived with this quiet, constant fear that something bad might happen. Even after reading my daily duas, the thoughts creep in - what if the kids do something they shouldn’t? What if something happens to them? May Allah protect them always.

It takes a conscious effort to calm myself down and whisper, “Yumna, nothing bad will happen. They’re just kids - doing kiddish things.”

Sometimes I wonder why my mind jumps to the worst-case scenario. Why it focuses on what could go wrong. And I can’t help but think - maybe my body’s still in fight, flight, or freeze mode. Maybe it has something to do with my childhood… especially the bullying I went through.

It makes me realize how deeply the childhood years shape us - not just in how we grow up, but in how we parent. Every word, every reaction, every small moment leaves an imprint.

And yet, parenting isn’t easy - especially when we’re trying to give what we ourselves never had.

Today, my younger one called everyone “pagal” (stupid). I had two choices: to shut him down or to understand him. Because I wasn’t triggered in that moment, I chose to listen. And I realized he was just upset that no one was paying attention.

That moment taught me something: what we didn’t receive as children - compassion, understanding, patience - we have a chance to give to our own kids.

Maybe that’s where healing truly begins - when we offer our children the compassion we once needed ourselves.